I am not planning to quit as a result of a moral conversion or having identified something better to do. Simply I am avoiding reaching the point of diminishing returns. In our trade supply outstrips demand by a factor of almost three. The girls are much more than the men. The men who come to the Street are somehow a constant; their numbers and identities don't change much. It's the same men who started coming here five years ago who still come. Those coming to the Street for the first time increase at a less proportionate rate to the girls, and also to the men leaving. There will be nights where every car coming to the Street will be familiar. And weeks where I sleep with the same usual men who know how much I charge and my point of faking orgasm.
By the time a girl hits three years on the Street the men know her. However good one is there gets a point where one stops being the first choice of a man. At that point a man will pick a 3 years plus girl because he has come late when the fresh girls are gone, for old times sake or when too drunk to recognize her. It is more or less like what happens in marriage after a few years.
When a girl is no longer the first choice of any of the men anger and hatred starts building inside. She insults men who leave her behind, and the girls who go with them. She drinks a lot and start developing a cold aged look, which makes her less attractive. I have seen it with many girls here. Of course there are exceptions, girls who maintain their shine even after practicing for three years and more. But such are few, and many of those who outwardly look beautiful are ugly inside. I know myself and I don't expect to be among the exceptions.
Marriage has never been part of my plan and pinching a good amount of cash a long shot. So my retirement plan has me thinking of doing something with almost similar traits as what I do now; the adrenaline rush, some creativity, independence and the lack of formality and commitment . Sometimes I think I am lazy . See I want to do things at my own pace and to my own satisfaction, which is adjusted every time failure requests. I don't want to be appraised and set goals by others. Anyway I digress. So one of these things with similar traits is what made me enroll for a certain course. The course that has made me miss in action for the last two and a half weeks; reading and writing exams.
My next occupation is just one of the challenges of retirement. How to fill the emotional and physical gap left after quitting is another thing. I am not talking about lurvy durvy emotions, but the simple emotions that come as a result of connecting with people who really matter to you. The happiness that I feel when talking of my escapades with colleagues, or the temporary comfort I get when I sleep on the chest of a nice client. Such emotional connections take time to build, and when out there I am not sure I will be able to connect with other people, and if I do, it may take long by which time I will have been labeled a snob, freak, recluse or any such words that describe those with emotional oddities. Yet I am not so much worried about the emotions for all said and done I will have a great relationship with my local barman.
I have previously said that I don't care much for sex, especially the fun part of it. But that does not mean I do not have urges. I do. My clients whether good or bad help satisfy my sex urges, and I feel naturally whole again. So what will I do about sex when out of the Street? A relationship for me is out of question. I will fail. It will be difficult for me to commit and not cheat. A tit for tat for me because after what I have seen so far on the Street I will always be convinced my man is not cheating. Although I wont tell any man about my past, some of the habits I have acquired from the Street might live with me forever, and when they pop certainly create tensions between me and my partner. For instance in moments of frustration and drunkenness I use rough filthy words which no man would be pleased to hear his girl use.
There is also the option of going for one night stands. But these will be almost the same thing as what I do presently. I wont enjoy them as much. I know these days a girl can pay a man to have sex with her, like I once did. Yet this snatches a key component of sex; the testosterone part; knowing I am having sex with a real man. A man who agrees to be paid to have sex, rather than fight for it, may not have enough testosterone in him.
Yeah I can't forget the toys. I have couple of those, but like a friend said everybody sometimes craves for 3D sex, where you hold and kiss each other during the act. A sex mate is the best option. But men have presently become very poor in bed, and to find a good one I will have to road test several ,something I am not very enthusiastic about. I can only wait and see ,but I am sure to get a solution for this little problem
When a girl joins the Street she soon hears of the legends and experiences of other who have been in the trade before. Some of the experiences sound exciting,others generate curiosity, while others feel like a must do . Like there are so many positive and negative stories about the white men who pick girls here, and every girl wants to experience it. I have slept with several of these. There are also things said about men from a certain tribe, and only when a girl spends the night with such does she feel not missing out. There were days I wanted to know how it feels to drug and steal rom a man, something I have done. I also wanted to see viagra in action where its rightfully needed, with a man past 75, and I got to see it when I slept with a 78 year old man. The things to do are many,and some can only be done when one is in this trade because the opportunity and attitude are right and present.
Recently I have heard about the Great Lakes Civilization. Its the great art of love making by the men from the Great Lakes region; Burundi, Rwanda and the others. Apparently the name Great Lakes is a result of the small lakes the men from the region are able to create down there in women bodies. So I have to sleep with a man from the Great Lakes within the next six months or I might never have another chance to experience the civilization without any inhibitions. And here, for reasons I might mention later, I exclude the Congolese men based in Kenya.
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