Thursday, June 23, 2011

Episode 33: Mea Culpa

The morals of a prostitute, as I have noted before, have been compared to those of an alley cat; meaning there are non existent. There is no indulgence that is unexpected from a prostitute. After all, by some self righteous meter, selling one's body for cash is the lowest a human being can get. Of course girls have proved themselves capable of many things, but then the prostitute stereotype is often very misplaced. Every girl is her own person. A girl relies on how conscience, and in many circumstances there is enough leeway for choice.

That said I cannot rule out the role of peer pressure; the need to belong and very often escape the girlish sanctions that come with not conforming. To the larger society that’s not justification enough for some of the things we do.  I would be the last person to claim I am innocent in the trademark vices of prostitutes. How can I be when I have already admitted to carrying a sedative in my bag?  Yet I won’t steal, or to use a more politically correct word, shortchange a man unless I feel he deserves it. Yes, that has not always been my position, but is presently is. I define “deserve” using parameters of the Jesus Philosophy.

The second day after my recent break a man came to the Street driving some saloon car, whose make I couldn’t figure out. The first day had been unproductive, so I was among the first to rush when the car stopped.  But I was not the first choice; he picked Pendo, hesitated then called me too. It’s normal for men to pick two or three girls, and most of us are okay with it, at the least for the simple reason that such a combination commands better prices. Personally I am uneasy about such arrangements, somehow I like having my clients by the balls (even literally), and that is not possible when we are two since we jostle to control the man and win his favor. Circumstances though demand I participate in the threesomes once in a while.

Some men think that all prostitutes connect, like in this case believing picking any two random girls will result in a super session. That is far from the truth. Girls have their favorite partners, the ones they can work with flawlessly and with some rhythm. My partner of choice is a marvelous little girl called Soni.

Pendo, just like her friend Cheupe, is one of those intimidating Street loud mouths. She says anything. She does anything. She has been involved into many fights than anyone cares to count. She is one of the Street alphas. At this point I have to confess though I write so boldly (or so I think) on the Street I am almost a nobody, one of the many colorless girls lacking any chutzpah. I am still not sure why I agreed to join Pendo. I might have been blackmailed by her domineering nature or simply needed the money and a lay to feel back on the Street.

Inside the car the good looking man asked which lodging we should go to. That is a no no question for anyone who is Street smart. Many girls will mention a lodging they feel comfortable in. Comfortable meaning they can walk out at anytime of the night without any ado from the watchman or management. Pendo who was seated at the front mentioned the name of a hotel off Accra road, and the man obliged without any question. A hint that he knew not of the crooked ways of the city.

Within minutes we were at the hotel, he paid and we climbed the stairs to the room. But before we could start the ‘show’, Pendo said some drinks would help us give the best performance possible. She was right. I could not imagine myself having any girl on girl action, as is the norm in such scenarios, with her while sober. The man agreed and went for drinks downstairs. And those ten minutes between him going and coming back was all Pendo needed to tell me how we were to steal from him. I was not enthusiastic and she noted it. Pendo is not one to use diplomacy. “If you are not for it then get out, after all he called me first." Before I could even reply the man was back, and we were all smiles.

From then Pendo took over. She poured the Richot the man had brought into three glasses, and added soda. We started drinking. She saying the man looked good, at the same time caressing my thighs with one of her tough hands. Within minutes she was all over him, kissing, touching and undressing. Pendo embraced him in such a way she was able to look at me, while the man couldn’t. She winked. I didn't hesitate. From my small purse I removed one of the Michael Jackson tablets in powder form and emptied the contents in the man's glass as he and Pendo went all the way.

As expected the man blackened out. We frisked his pockets, removing everything that was in it. He had about 7,000 shillings in cash, and some cheap phone. We shared the spoils there and then. Since it was her 'idea' Pendo kept 4,000, the phone and ATM. I took the rest and the wallet.

Back on the street, Pendo narrated the exploit to anyone who cared to listen, twisting the story so that it looked like I was the one who had initiated the theft. The sisterhood was full of praises. But deep inside I felt guilty, and still do. I spent almost all of the money on booze. I didn’t dispose the wallet as is the smart thing to do. When the guilt weighs me down I look at the passport photo of a woman and a girl that were inside the wallet. I tell myself a man who cheats on his wife and lovely daughter needs to be punished. Yet I know this a mere consolation, and that’s why occasionally I invoke my Catholic roots and say :

    I confess to almighty God
    and to you, my brothers and sisters,
    that I have greatly sinned,
    in my thoughts and in my words,
    in what I have done and in what I have failed to do,
    through my fault, through my fault,
    through my most grievous fault;
    therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin,
    all the Angels and Saints,
    and you, my brothers and sisters,
    to pray for me to the Lord our God.


-I will spend sometime this weekend doing some typing so as to try post three or more times a week, starting this coming Monday.

-You can get my ebook which includes an introduction cum update of my brand building, Episode 1-30 and selected comments. Just click on Ebooks above

-I receive a lot of questions on many issues either through the comments here, Facebook, Twitter or Email. So as to be able to answer as many of them possible I have added an Ask page. You can ask the questions anonymously or otherwise. Just click on the Ask Sue page above. My answers, clarifications, comments will appear on the same page possibly daily. For private questions or enquiries just drop me a message via email, Facebook or Twitter.

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  1. Silly man that's true. Its a tempting but dangerous business that one Miss Kahumbura. Do you know that's why someone picks up hookers on the street, drives them to some place and really smashes their faces, among other brutalities?

  2. Mea maxima culpa...we did not finish the female client story as promised. Sinking deeper into infatuation with every post, brilliant girl. sometimes i wonder like you once wrote, do i admire or desire you? crisis! love you all the same

  3. You write extremely well and your memoirs are heartfelt and captivating. Well Done. Love your work...

  4. i think you should write a book instead of this blogs.

  5. Miss Kahumbura?

  6. That was ruthless, he may have paid you both the 7k and again some more, why did you still be4 negotiating the price? Anyway thats why sometimes am not surprised when langas are forced to bon dogs or have chupas inserted in there. You cannot justify your inhumanity by the passport pics, otherwise you are on the wrong too, you should ask your clients if they are married first before jumping your baggy old smelly puccy into their cars...

  7. An anonymous follower noted the dilemma of ethics. yeah, that one is sue. though you have ethics, can you stand by them even in the influence if domineering cheupe? i think you are a good narrator sue. most of the times i feel and identify with you more than you can ever imagin. ohh, by the way sue, i love the mea maxima culpa. as always i love your blog sue, and your writing too.

  8. so what will u do with his wallet...the guy is bila ID & getting one from govt is going to be a nightmare...since u r feeling guilty, ebu find way to "conveniently" give him his wallet obviously minus the cash...oh by the way, if any of yr "friends" has my laptop, just tell them to hand it to u & I will contact u for it.

  9. bravo Sue!!
    La dolce vita that is ur street life:-)

  10. Heiiiya!!!!! next time please be carefull not to be dragged into choppin off a mans' pointer!!!!!

  11. Stealing is wrong.being a prostitute is enough sin.though you made your clearly defines the thought process of women on the street.he could have been kind to you if you asked but not to black him out and steal his money.ofcourse he can't complain because he asked for it by asking for your should have stood your ground and made a diffifcult choice.yes society has a way of judging your kind of work.but some do worse than you are doing now.I really do admire your courage and eloquence.I hope you get to use your street experience for something positive in way or the other we are all not perfect but your consciousness must be given free will.thanks for reading.

  12. you made my day Sue,keep them coming

  13. I read an article by a Miss kahumbura on UP Magazine- i can tell some similarities altho i am not convinced you're the same person unless you played down your talent. The story while well written just lacked some of the spice you have in here- That article was blunt. If you are indeed the author of the article- maybe an improvement? Then again, I really applaud your efforts to build your brand and also to post more (i for one would appreciate) but as someone mentioned the idea of branding is being able to influence- be careful not just to appease our appetites for your work but also to create somewhat of strong fan base (who will buy your book!!)


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  16. And interesting marketing ploy by UP magazine.

  17. Yay! Now I can ask you weird things and you almost have to answer!

  18. Not the first time a prostitute has done it, and its not the last time you are going to do it either. A guy f*ks a TOTAL stranger all for nothing but the money he is willing to give her for the f*k; Unless he is very very naive, it is not too much for him to expect to be shortchanged any time. What could be said has been said already, "regular girl"= regualr moral code. Malaya = the alternative moral code. Religion is often nothing but a thin layer of veneer on ugly rotting wood. That is what we all are, ugly rotting wood, whether regualr, or Malaya.

  19. the anonymous up there somewhere, she is the same Sue kahumbura, get over it most of us already know...

  20. compared to an alley cat, ati non-existent not, alley cats are so much alive me dear....

  21. Its gud u stole from that mother fucker if i was in your shoes i wld have done the same and even deserve that and even more gudwork sue.

  22. I don't understand the post above? Has Sue's identity been revealed? And who is Sue Kahumbura? I am in Burundi and not familiar with the name; somebody please enlighten me?

  23. Prostitute no hearty meal for a good man...its for hardenned criminals who pay them fake currency for raw sex.

  24. I'm convinced this writer is not the same one who has written previous articles. The grammar is too different, e.g. the "previous" Sue wouldn't write "blackened" instead of "blacked out."
    Check again, the writing style is too different to have come from the same person.

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  26. not sure why people are doubting your identity.

    i totally believe you because you once responded to my email.

    anyway, just don't do it again. don't steal again.

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