Monday, March 28, 2011

Episode 20 : My Fee


Men pay for sex with a prostitute as if paying for a commodity. But my ideal situation would be if they paid for the service the same way one pays for a work of art. Not necessarily a Dali or Wanyu Brush but an obscure artist whose abstract painting pierces the soul of the buyer. If that was the case I would have the same basis as great artists to charge high prices; not for the aesthetics of the art but for the inexplicable effect a work has on the soul. But the ideal is only a fantasy I dream of, as I live through a very different reality.

Pricing of commodities is a function of many factors but the key is the cost of production. Someone argued in one of the comments here that in my kind of work the commodity is naturally occurring and I should not price it. That however is a little simplistic. To start with it ignores the equivalent of the cost of mining; compensation for the psychological leap that is practicing prostitution. Then there are the obvious maintenance and packaging costs; buying clothes, making the hair, gynecologist charges and the likes, not forgetting the cost of transporting the commodity from the factory to the consumer. Perhaps I should state, hoping not to sound like Coca-Cola, I don't sell my body, but happiness.

When I moved from the SJ to the street I set myself the standard fee to charge; Ksh.1,500 per session. Though a somehow arbitrarily amount I calculated it was enough to cover my costs and a fair price for what I was giving in return. However I soon did away with it. It was limiting. There were men who wanted to pay slightly less and I was shutting them out. And the others who wanted to pay more but were caged by my price.

Still naive, I then started charging on the basis of the car a man drove. But as I pointed out earlier the car a man drives is a very poor indicator of what he may pay a girl. Some of those who seem to have bought sleek cars through a formal career or clever business, are a little full of themselves, like they are running the world. They feel they have nothing to prove, and are actually doing me a favor. They pay what is a complimentary amount for the bother. But there are those with the expensive cars who seem to have made money the easy way; perhaps through deals, corruption or some other backdoor manner. These are generous with their cash and pay much more than what I ask for.

Those driving the lower Toyota , Nissan, Volkswagen and second hand BMWs ( The latter are indeed very interesting) are quite unpredictable. Some are on low budgets and cant pay a lot as much as they would like to. Others have this constant fear that they are being persecuted or exploited by the government and everyone else, so they are just tough with their cash. The second hand BMW types seem in doubt of their wealth, or more appropriately whether people recognize them as wealthy. They will pay relatively more and with some flamboyance, just to prove they are loaded.

Nowadays I gauge each customer differently. This is the best strategy. I use some simple indicators to know what to charge. For instance men who ask what my price is immediately I enter their car are not ready to pay much, so I quote a figure a little bit low. Those who talk much will definitely negotiate, so I quote a higher price to create room for negotiations. A customer asking when I would like my payment ; before or after the session is a hint to charge more. Why a man is sleeping with me is an important consideration too. Those who sleep with me for the spirituality will have no problem paying more, as  compared to those in it for the physical satisfaction. At one time I thought men appreciate girls who charge more because things classy come at a premium price, but then I realized many men want a prostitute for who they think she is; a lowly girl without social or moral inhibitions.

The much I have been paid per session is $150 ( plus other benefits), not so long ago by a man who flew all the way from Kampala to come spend the night with me at a $ 200 hotel in Nairobi. An exact opposite of Sylvester. I will mention it in my next post this week.


( Thanks for the best of blog votes. No worries about the competition. Winning just comes with recognition and some validation, values anyone building a brand will appreciate. And now that I seem to have figured the direction my brand will take, I appreciate them much more. Mmm this post could be a hint at the direction. )










64 comments:

  1. finally! a post with meat on it! I was turning blue over here. though I feel you have given us a general view of how you price yourself. couple them with an experience or two? when need to get the whole picture(gestalt). and dedicate one blog in response to your "aware" comments? otherwise you will lose touch with them and that doesn't contribute to the building of your brand miss.

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  2. "The second hand BMW types seem in doubt of their wealth, or more appropriately whether people recognize them as wealthy"...u def have a way with words sue.

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  3. sue , you are really gifted, I want to meet you, not necessarily for your services, but it would be an added bonus.

    @sweet and shower ...... just enjoy the read and quit this condescending posts of yours.

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  4. Aiii Ssssuallly? Ati am buying happiness? There are several things that come to mind which would make me happy and sleeping with a lady of the night is not one of them. Get real and stop with the self consolation.

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  5. I never thought my marketing skills will be needed in such a forum but, hey what the heck at least i can share my three pence worth advise, right?

    I am asking myself how an individual can brand themselves and if personal branding is as valuable. Personal branding can single an individual out as an expert in their field, but are there downfalls to personal branding? Indeed, Unless you plan to work until your last living day (in which i doubt) it will be difficult to transition the brand to someone else. After all you are the BRAND! If you are ok with the fact that in order to transition out of the brand you will need to create a new one that your consumers {read general public} can grasp onto then personal branding may just be for you.

    Truth is personal branding is easier. Why? Because if you believe in your talent, in your skills and ability - it's easier to sell what you believe in. Your image is already created - you just have to market it. How do you market yourself? That's easy. You must become: a pro in what you do, in which i guess you are.

    But the downturn in regard to what your profession is the brand is build on a promise that you make, then the customer experience is the fulfillment of that promise. The customer experience can't be left to chance (In Reference to the swindler chap in episode 1). It should be actively designed and controlled in a manner that enhances your brand image. It must consistently reinforce the brand promise across every customer touchpoint or the value of the brand itself is at risk. How do you ensure your brand health is in check? my guess is dish out questionnaires and get the feedback on major touchpoints....ohh...but i wonder how effective that would be? That is if your clients will have any energy left (Pun intended)lol!!!

    All in all as an ambassador of brand Kenya- BTW i voted for your blog on you know where- the mantle may not be on building on your personal brand but rather the national brand.

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  6. I don't know if it's me, but this blog reads like it's got more confidence from the writer, it must be that competition that's given you a pep in your step, soon i know for sure you will be having so many bookings you'll come out the streets, you now stepping it up like one girl in SA called palesambau.com she's made a movie(porno of course), does escorts, private shows and basically the trade you're in Sue(one thing, she shows her face, you can even sms a number and get her random images). Anyways, all the best, now i know you're in a bigger platform with that blog voting that's made you popular.
    wonderman

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  7. Hi Sue,I hope your well dear. I work for the United Nations right here in Nairobi. I was heart broken to have learnt about you through a friend over lunch, he was telling me how smart and gifted you are, its really sad, as a young kenyan woman like yourself, i feel it is utterly unfair that you are a prostitute while someone with no qualifications is a sitting on a job they cannot handle, we evaluated our editing,report writing department and we asked ourselves who can write like sue in here!!!! i was so heart broken and excused myself to go the bathroom and wiped for i new the answer very well. The truth of the matter is that we have some 'experts' who are currently occupying seats just because they come from a certain race.The kenyans i am afraid hardly get top jobs,but i am sure if we had interviewed you,you could be i believe atleast a professional level. Please log to www.unjobs.org and go to kenya as a duty station...we have a vacancy for programme assistant, the post is alittle bit too low for your level but it is a start.

    please follow the steps, you will need to have an account with un.org to apply. if your stuck please call unep and ask for lisa m- unep Human resource department.i will be happy to help.i will also email you tomorrow

    Programme Assistant, Nairobi (G-5)
    United Nations Environment Programme
    Closing Date: Wednesday, 20 April 2011


    Good luck

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  8. loved this post, kudos to the economics major: )

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  9. condescending? didn't realise, my apologies. I enjoy the read, though there is more she can say "lord". An interesting title for someone claiming I'm condescending by the way....

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  10. SSsssssUuuuEeeee's back..... it's only Mon and the blog is smoking hot! My goodness what next for Sue? She is a revolution to the Kenyan psyche, A one in a million talent.......... I have not voted for u on the bobs, but as soon as am a pc, u def gonna get my vote, both from fb and twitter a/c!
    I agree with the above post, today you sound abit sure of urself. I would also like to admit I was one of the harsh doubting Toms from the earlier comments - but now I simply enjoy.

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  11. yap i also thnk sweetshower is condescending..take a chill pill woman

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  12. Good grief! Ever heard of constructive criticism? I enjoy the blog nonetheless.....

    Jackass, this means you bingi. Hate that you've reduced me to name calling....

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  13. i am so addicted to this blog!!!!! if not for anything, for the great writing skills you posses!! (not that i dont have my doubts about certain things but thats life yeah.....)

    kudos babes n keep safe, u have serious followers waiting for more ......xoxo

    PS i just voted and by the looks of it your winning!

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  14. Sema Kuro,

    Nice blog, yeyewe am so addicted to this blog. I really don approve what you do and the reason I don frequent K-street and other places is not that I care or am a holy joe but the thot that I might meet a close relative there. But that is nothg compared to the fear that I might meet sm1 and fall in love with them......xoxo. The guy at the UN has a point sue. I love this blog and I dunno what I wd be looking forward to on Mondays if u weren't writing bt hey I also loved Mohamed Ali (the boxer) but seeing what boxing did to him, I wd have bn Ok not seeing so many of his fights. Nwei my big question is, do u see urself stoping umalaya and repackaging 'happiness' in another way?

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  15. Somewhere in the article there is an economics lesson... though I am not sure how to frame it. I have always had trouble with fixing prices for what I do (not even in the same area code as what Sue does!!!!) Working with a fixed rate is always a challenge because sometimes it is obvious someone could have paid much more. However I suppose I appreciate the dynamic nature that Sue uses, I guess we in the field of selling goods or services could borrow a leaf. Then sweetandshower I think the others may have taken your comments wrongly. Just ignore, you have your right to express yourself. Differences will always occur, actually am impressed you took the high road and apologized. You weren't obliged. Sue am glad the blog is back on track!! I really am!

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  16. Nice read. Your brand sure seems to be working magic; with the international competitions, UN officers getting concerned et al.

    My only hope is that you will be happy in the end. And what are the 'spiritual' reasons for sleeping with a prostitute if I may ask?

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  17. Back on track sue
    Angani Sue says on episode 10"Men come to us possessed by stress, frustrations, mid life crisis, career stagnation,work challenges and we exorcise them in a more pleasurable way, which doesn't involve sitting on a pew for hours listening to a man or woman blaming your spiritual afflictions on your refusal to give tithe." That according to her is a spiritual role

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  18. impressed with your writing,totally!!!! you have so many options out there darling. Happy to know you have the attention of the UN people who just wrote to you. I am very impressed my dear, finally someone is noticing how talented you are!!! God bless them. I hope this will be a lesson to Human Resource people all over Kenya. If you are human resource manager or a director of a company outhere,please learn from this incident- that if we do not recruit young talents like sue..we will push them to the wrong places!!! let us stop corruption,biasness,tribalism in employment!!! hire people because THEY CAN DO THE JOB!

    Perhaps you had applied for many jobs before but nobody hired you earlier??? i believe they probably thought you were too good? interesting how everyone is paying attention now....were the fuck were they when the likes of sue were looking for employment?? some insecure human resource managers perhaps favoured others over talented sues....

    let this be a lesson to us all....SHAME ON US.

    Allan
    Safaricom

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  19. Uko juu tu sana.......Ur truly entertaining.

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  20. This is very interesting indeed what a talent you have...but I am just wondering are you also the author of this blog
    http://nairobinights.com/

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  21. look here sweetshower wereva u bta watch ur filthy mouth nd knw ur place in society woman before someone reminds u the hard way u whore u shld be thnkn of joinin sue in the whorin business(open business opportunities for cute some ugly women with no brains or morals)BITCH

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  22. AM suprsd that everyone is upholding prostituion from this blog jus coz one of the whores is able to type ABCD in a computer arent we suposd to come rom a moral christian society with values that r the exact opposite of ths blog but instead we allow a thievn prostitute to write blogs for all the perverts of the society to read and jerk off with. the only use of ths blog is jerkn off.we should try and mke sre the blog is completly blckd from the public domain as it corrupts public morals which is an offence in kenyn law whch i knw as a lawyer. so sue get off ur lazy ass and fnd a job like evry othr decent kenyn uwe malaya mnyonge and im sre mre thn hlf the readerz will suppot me on ths one rait gyz

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  23. Hmm, interesting but selling happiness? You can sell pleasure and a good time but happiness, nope!

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  24. Great piece...Should I assume that rates also change depending on the time of the month vis-a-vis the time of day/night? I have sampled services at various times as stated and found the premise to be true for the most part,and ooh....pricing could also be dependent on the level of intoxication of the seller.

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  25. bingi,morality is but a matter of perception..prostitution has been there far longer than your damn religion.if you do jerk off on blogs that is your problem,stop recruiting.

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  26. its not about recrutin u anonymous jackass its about us losin our values to western ideologies that are promoted by such blogs.look up ur history asshole

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  27. um, something that hit me today. As I man and a predator, I found that the thrill is usually in the chase. The playful banter, the suggestive talk, the ploughing her with just the right amount of alcohol, the whole dance really, makes the kill mean so much more. Now the fact that I know I can call or drive to some place and know that as long as I can afford it(and $50 isn't exactly an arm and a leg), I'll get laid, kills it for me. Are the men who pay for sex socially inept? Do they lack the time? Because even when caesar was at war, he had time to bang cleopatra so I hardly think they could argue this way. Ugly girls are free no? My friends have a saying that goes "simba akikosa nyama, hukula nyasi". Basically, if there are no suitable women to bang, and ugly one will suffice. "Shimo mbaya ni ya nyoka". Have clandestine arrangements gone out of fashion? what about CFAs(convenient fuk arrangement) and SBJs(sex bila jokes)? Have they become so rare that I must resort to paying for what my wit and personality can already do? albeit aided by some whisky or any other suitable panty dropper juice. Hoping sue can give me some insight into this....what makes men cross the line and pay for sex. For Petes sake, do answer this?

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  28. bingi, if you don't like the page, stop reading it. Or why are you here if your so against it? Jealousy? And this "hooker" can communicate way better than you can....or is your keyboard missing some characters?

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  29. Hi sue do you know this imposter?
    http://nairobinights.com/

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  30. There is this THUG ati nairobinights.com ebu do something about it soon

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  31. yoh daniel, just saw nairobinights.com, what a cheap shot, this girl started late march to write this shyt, her stories i'd rather waste my time on youtube than to read her blogs, couldn't finish even one story out of the cheap, unrealistic content that she's got going. Sue really messed up with the domain, she should have gotten the .com domain coz now this other girl is easily gonna get hits when one is looking for sue.
    sad! and an epic fail
    wonderman

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  32. wish you would know what you are loosing.

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  33. @sweetandshower touche!

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  34. Eve was a stripper, she now one of the most talented female rappers. Do you thing girl

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  35. In as much as every other commoner is entitled to their opinion I think its imperative that respondents read the title of the blog.
    A kenyan prostitute building a brand.Why some people are making an obvious oversight of this is beyond me. Characters like ""bingi" make my eyes hurt when I try to read through their echoeing posts.Your sentiments would be much appreciated if the blog read ''Hello guys I'm sue a Kenyan prostitute in dire need of your four cent opinion on whether my trade is morally frowned upon''
    Its evident you have nothing to contribute to this forum but please do not make it too obvious.
    While most would view the job offer as a breakthrough I think its just another scam to ride on the publicity that Sue has managed to attract.You ventured into blogging to build a brand the least you could do is remain faithful to your cause because it is uniqueness that sells.
    Once again a great post by a great writer with a firm grip on facts and truly an oasis of revolutionary ideas! Kudos

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  36. In as much as every other commoner is entitled to their opinion I think its imperative that respondents read the title of the blog.
    A kenyan prostitute building a brand.Why some people are making an obvious oversight of this is beyond me. Characters like ""bingi" make my eyes hurt when I try to read through their echoeing posts.Your sentiments would be much appreciated if the blog read ''Hello guys I'm sue a Kenyan prostitute in dire need of your four cent opinion on whether my trade is morally frowned upon''
    Its evident you have nothing to contribute to this forum but please do not make it too obvious.
    While most would view the job offer as a breakthrough I think its just another scam to ride on the publicity that Sue has managed to attract.You ventured into blogging to build a brand the least you could do is remain faithful to your cause because it is uniqueness that sells.
    Once again a great post by a great writer with a firm grip on facts and truly an oasis of revolutionary ideas! Kudos

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  37. I don't understand some people (Bingi) if you feel you don't like the blog or agree with it and want to uphold your "Christian Morality" DO NOT READ IT! Simple don't log on and live your life. Don't dictate to the rest of us how we should lead ours or in Sue's case hers. Why are you making yourself angry and yes it's you making yourself angry by logging on and reading this not Sue, not us readers. Your "Superiority" issues are your problem not ours. As for you being such a "highly moral upstanding christian"is sadly lacking, your use of language on the blog clearly shows that you have nothing whatsoever to teach us on how to live upstanding lives. Eish!!

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  38. In as much as every other commoner is entitled to their opinion I think its imperative that respondents read the title of the blog.
    A kenyan prostitute building a brand.Why some people are making an oversight of this is beyond me. Characters like "bingi" make my eyes hurt when I try to read through their echoeing posts.Your sentiments would be much appreciated if the blog read ''Hello guys I'm sue a Kenyan prostitute in dire need of your four cent opinion on whether my trade is morally frowned upon''
    Its evident you have nothing to contribute to this forum but please do not make it too obvious.
    While most would view the job offer as a breakthrough I think its just another scam to ride on the publicity that Sue has managed to attract.You ventured into blogging to build a brand the least you could do is remain faithful to your cause because it is uniqueness that sells.
    Once again a great post by a great writer with a firm grip on facts and truly an oasis of revolutionary ideas! Kudos

    Okoth K'Olwal

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  39. Hi
    A friend mentioned your blog. I have a couple of suggestions:
    1) Get an editor (frankly your writing is not upto par) and you need to capitalize on this.It could be a revenue stream, from a book deal...(someone offered to help with the same, and she is a Kenyan WRITER!)
    2) there was a blogger who wrote you i think her blog is 'queer...' read her work and liase with her... There is a lot you are yet to learn.
    3)I will come up with more once i get past your latest excerpt)

    Good luck!!

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  40. Oh, just noted something else... selling happiness is a line from 'Hung' you need to be a lot more original...
    You are in dire need of an editor, lucky for you, practise makes perfect!

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  41. why are viewers of my blog confusing my statements.i only simply meant thst sue should use her writing skills on something else other than immoral disturbn hooker stories. if she is as good as people perceive her to be then this shouldnt be too hard for her.shez already been offerd like a hundred jobs by people who have resd her work but u know wat they say "u can take the girl out of the ghetto but u cant take the ghetto out of her".. jus sayn, i have nothin against sue but what she stands for in sciety

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  42. Starved of love on the outside, full of Love inside, such a lousy imbalance, here's my two cents, Sue or whatever your real name is. You are wasting away in the sublime part of your life, fear not the power that lies within you, embrace it and see what good comes of it. Being different is functional only for a period yours is about t elapse. You know it too. On the flip side, I thoroughly enjoy reading your scripts.

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  43. Bingi, you need to relax. Your foul language is not helping the cause of your moral crusade.

    Sue, I do not judge you, but you, like all of us, will one day have to face the consequences of our choices.

    'Selling happiness' is stretching it a bit. You cannot sell what you do not have or that which is not yours to sell.

    I admire your dedication to your work. A lot of us don't even have that in our 'decent' jobs.

    On a light note, do you call your private parts public parts?

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  44. ''selling happiness'' ha ha good choice of words Sue. such prostitution is there for those who never get 'good sex' or rather 'good services'...
    hey people kueni wapole wale mnaingilia makuro! its business n pleasure. so if u think u dont deserve to part with your chapaa 4 sex then dont!
    Sue n her likes r there for the ''needy'' jamaas who r ready to pay...
    its like NAKUMAT, u feel u cant buy from there then enda TUSKYS ama UKWALA!

    as for the judging parties laeve that to Jah Jah...

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  45. I hope someday we can read your beautiful articles as a professional writer. You are changing the way people are thinking about You.
    You have to be proud of yourself.
    From bottom of my heart.
    Thank you.

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  46. keep up the great work, you always make me want to read more of your work.

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  47. Typical Kenyans finding fault in others' work...ati "your writing is not up to par", "finally something with some meat on it" or "immorality". Why can't Kenyans appreciate each other without finding fault? Sue has captivated many of us and we are happy to enjoy the "ride" whatever it is. If it is not up to your standards, the magic of the internet gives us so many options. Kenyans and their addiction to complaining, whining and fault finding always amaze me.

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  48. nothing is right or wrong, ONLY THINKING MAKES IT SO!( if the cap fits, wear it.

    its quite laughable to read the three critisims "your writing is not at par" had for sue

    honey, she dun give a damn!

    n why are people trying to convert sue? no wonder marriages fail and sue is in business!

    my ksh shilling worth of observation about this blog though, we have multiple writers, if you are a speaker of more than one language, you should be able to see the differences in the posts.

    still sue and co, this blogs entertaining- n wasnt that the purpose? well n maybe to change the view kenyans have of the malay......

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  49. WOw Sue nice read this week, but I hope you set your priorities right, this the blog that attracted us in the first place, but you seem to be having so much on your plate of late, watever it is hope you choose wisely with regards to priorities...

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  50. Amen! for those who have realized that you started writing out of your own conviction, to share the underworld and not to enter any essay competition! If there are any typos, or below 'the par' comments ignore them and lets see if the 'editors' will keep off your blog. I don't condone your trade, but believe in the power of freedom of expression and more so if they are creative as this. Even street family members are human regardless of whether they are legitimate or not and if given the chance --they would put forth their opinion in whatever manner. So carry on and ignore the'legal-moral' opinions.

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  51. Bingi, you tedious fundamentalist, why don't you just bugger off! Nobody is forcing you to read this blog. You attitude to women is disgusting. Careful, you might end up like the yorkshire ripper. Sue, if you have the misfortune to read the other blog, try and work out which of your colleagues is passing off as you. That blog is so poorly written and obviously plagiarising, so Kenyan.

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  52. Girl,

    you got talent. I think what impresses me about you is that you keep a cool ahead about all this. Not everyone can do that. I am 30 yrs, single lady. I live in a two bedroom flat along thika road.I have been suffering from depression for about two years now, my depression prevented me from doing so many things. i hold a job with a company along thika road.let me say i live a double life, its hard for anyone to know me on the outside.I am a good concealor..It is hard for anyone to know anything about me. Before i leave for work every morning, i drink and carry some to work in a plastic water bottle.Without my drink, i will not function,let alone get up in the morning.i will simply not survive.

    I has become my medicine. The only thing with me is that when i am at work i take it in moderation, i never get drank on a working day. ,unlike some people i know. Like the finance manager, he really abuses alcohol, i heard. The drink is my source of happiness,its cheers me, its makes me smile. There are people who seek drugs and sex to make them happy. Sex for me is a once in a while activity, i may go out and meet a guy and end up in a one night stand. thats it. I can leave without it, but not my drink.
    I am at work now, i cannot stand it, i am looking at the cloack, lunch time is drink time for me and a quick sandwitch i carried.

    my supervisor suffers from some form of inferiority complex. You see, the guy has no qualifications and i do. Been working here for the last four years and i have no intentions of leaving even if my bosses are less qualified and get on my nerves... will stay here until i find a better job.In the meantime aluta continua.

    you take care of yourself.

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  53. a lot of attitude here from pple. Eh? @ bingi, b prudent. A true CHRISTIAN is like CHRIST JESUS. They dont hurl insults but pray. We all were created by FATHER GOD. HE doesnt like any to perish but to have an everlasting life.
    Personaly ave my own reasons 4 following this blog. Am a BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN yet i wont condemn sue. Bingi if u a so righteous then be the first 1 to thro the stone.

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  54. Sue you have a hold over us, that how powerful you brand is. Sexual innuendo plus literary talents and a pinch of mystrey :a triple treat for sure.

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  55. You are quite a writer.I have been reading the last hour.

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  56. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  57. My First Comment: I didn't not sleep last night reading your posts, I have read from Episode 1 and now am here. Its like am reading a Very Great Book.
    Seriously Whoever you are I love your articles. Your are Talented. Am hoping ton catch-up soon. Nice read, don't know how to describe it.

    I have recommended this page to anyone i know. am talking about like its my sister who is writing here....

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  58. "Not necessarily a Dali or Wanyu Brush but an obscure artist whose abstract painting pierces the soul of the buyer. If that was the case I would have the same basis as great artists to charge high prices; not for the aesthetics of the art but for the inexplicable effect a work has on the soul. But the ideal is only a fantasy I dream of, as I live through a very different reality."plagiarism!

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  59. Hi Sue,

    I have been following the blog for a while and loving it. One question still lingered though and you made an attempt to answer it...why you became a prostitute. The first paragraph of this blog answered that for me today. You see Sue, you exhibit traits of a narcissistic personality disorder..specifically amorous narcissism. The purpose of your job and this blog is to make you the center of attention, praise and admiration.
    More often than not this stems from your childhood.....However, i continue to enjoy the blog but after my realization i must say some pleasure has been taken away.
    All the best Sue.

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  60. When I travel with colleagues, and I can't manage to book a different hotel than them, I rent a cargo TukTuk and put a mattress, sheets, and a bunch of pillows, condoms, and lube in the back. This gets me good rates AND makes for a nice portable workstation. I've got a guy who knows when I'm in town and can't get a hotel "away" and has the thing clean, the linens laundered, and even puts a transistor radio and lantern in the back of the Tuk. I mean, the guy is great. I consider him my professional chauffer. He even sometimes puts up lace, chiffon, velvet, or some shit up in there when he can. It's pretty cozy and romantic. When the meeting has adjourned, I open the hatch and smack the driver on the back of the head and he knows to start the trek back to her pick-up point. Then I, like the gentleman that I am, take the lady back to her workplace, plunk a thousand bob into her hand, and raise the door for her.

    Chivalry is NOT dead.

    Anonymister

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