Monday, April 4, 2011

Episode 21: Role Playing


Most human beings have one form or another of eccentricities. However because we get to hear only of the oddities of the famous we think ourselves perfectly normal. Yet there are many things we do which may be considered as pecularities. But we don't think of them as such because to us they are normal. Its debatable whether the word normal loses meaning when defined by an individual as opposed to the larger society. I have never thought any of my actions as freaky until some few days ago when someone suggested some of the things I do are strange.

Like everyone in college I had dreams of a good job. I used to very specific which particular companies I  wanted to work for. The first was Zimele Asset Management where I was to be analyst. The second was Safaricom where I imagined working in product development. Then there was Y & R where I figured I could be a copywriter. And there was the World Bank, there I was not sure what I wanted to do. By the time I got to my fourth year I had stopped dreaming. My dreams hadn't been quashed but I had started developing some, let me call it open minded, philosophy. With the open minded thinking I felt, correctly or not, I had life by the balls.

A few weeks on the streets I started wondering, not in regret or remorse, what would have happened if I had ended up working in those companies. I became a little obsessed with the the thoughts. The result is that nowadays (& for the last two years), at least twice a month, I pretend or actually believe and as act as if I am not a prostitute. Such evenings I dress in what I think a female analyst at Zimele Asset Management dresses in. Then I go to the bars where I think she would have a drink. I sit there imagining  how my day in the office was, analyzing the money market and securities. When its Y & R I create and recreate advertisements in my head.

The days I pick to play these roles are random and on such  I don't step on the street. Rather after a few drinks I go home to 'prepare' for the next working day. Its a rather costly exercise for me. The drinks the successful young working women take are expensive. The bars they visit classy, serene and comfortable places.( My favorite being off Waiyaki Way). I am blind to these costs and willingly spend. When the urge to become a product developer at Safaricom comes and I have no money I get into a state of frustration, I lose my concentration and become a little edgy. I am not able to summon the energy to go to the street until the urge disappears.

I know the role playing may sound futile and outlandish, but in the short list of things that make my life full it ranks highly. The first person I told about it was my gynecologist during my regular monthly check up last week. I mentioned it as a by-the-way. I was surprised by how shocked she was. She even suggested I should be seen by a psychiatrist friend of hers. I laughed. I have no mental problems. I know what I am doing & at no one time have I ever imagined it as bizarre.

Yet beyond the feeling of satisfaction I have no logical explanation for my acting. But this could be one of the things that beats logic. I am okay with the way I live presently. I don't really aspire to live the lives I act. It's not a fantasy but simply I am happy to experience the career life in my own way.

That said there are some complications with my role playing. Normally when I go to the classy places I sit alone smoking, taking some white wine or better still shots of  Jack Daniels. Of course as a copy writer I am thinking of the customer's brief requiring an advertisement that resonates with men but doesn't feature gorgeous women. But generally I want to avoid conversation. I am confident and knowledgeable enough to hold small talk about any topic but what if someone asks where I work and I mention a company where he or she works?  That however is a small matter, an awkward moment which I can get away with using some charm. The bigger risk is that under the influence of strong drink one says things they should not. And the more I drink the more my prostitution instincts become sharpened as much as I may wish to tame them in such situations....(Will continue with this...)








-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
( Well I know of late I don't post as often as I used to do. One or two things. My computer almost died last week & its being resuscitated.  I am not very okay working from a cyber cafe. If I am to believe the technician the computer should be working by end of the day. Also I have been recording a series of podcasts, slightly different from the content of the blog because when talking thoughts & memories flow in a special way...I will have the podcasts ready soon.. 

As for me getting an editor, being more vivid in terms of setting and character etc, perhaps later in a when I can invest more time and money in this or if I ever decide to do something more concrete, say write a book. At the moment I am okay with the way the brand is growing. Thanks for all the comments, criticism, feedback and yeah business leads. I appreciate them all. )

46 comments:

  1. ... it could be you are either: very confused, slowly losing 'it' as your gynae thinks, or one very smart jane ... and i guess i know which it is ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. $$$ URGENT LOAN OFFER WITH LOW INTEREST RATE APPLY NOW $$$
      Do you need Loan to pay off your debt and start a new life? You have come to the right place were you can get your loan at a very low interest rate. Interested people/company should please contact us via email for more details.

      Full name:
      Date of birth (yyyy-mm-dd):
      Gender:
      Marital status:
      Amount Needed:
      Duration:
      Address:
      City:
      State/province:
      Zip/postal code:
      Country:
      Phone number:
      Monthly Income:
      Occupation:

      E-mail: shadiraaliuloancompany1@gmail.com

      Delete
  2. Well done sue,
    since the bobs DW thing, i can tell there's a confidence in your writing nowadays.
    keep at it, we all have those thoughts, I at times picture myself living and working in NY, trench coat on, brief case and all, but i'm simply headed to my normal building which i make it look like Empire state of Trump towers but honestly it's just I&M building. so don't you worry, I totally doubt there's anything wrong with you mentally when you think like that.
    wonderman

    ReplyDelete
  3. Its perfectly normal to want to escape reality build your own Utopian paradise in your head you'd be surprised how many people do it. It somehow keeps us from going crazy from the pressures and troubles of everyday life.

    ReplyDelete
  4. fascinating how you manage to give such a striking perspective of your experiences- i lyk.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Goodstuff! Keep the work. The other nairobi nights is kinky this is good keep up the work and your brand will solid. The podcast are a superb idea. I may not buy sex from you maybe a book or copy.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Keep up the good work of sharing your experiences.
    Something have always wondered, do you feel butterflies when a man picks you. I always in those few occasions have picked a girl.
    Have not done for long so we can organise something. i believe you must be very sweet

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Yet there are many things we do which may be considered as pecularities. But we don't think of them as such because to us they are normal. Its debatable whether the word normal loses meaning when defined by an individual as opposed to the larger society"

    sue you are one hell of a smart Jane. and come to think about it, role playing. Role playing, serves to satisfy our different urges and curiosities. unfortunately many less imaginative pple think role playing is only for the bedroom alone.

    i agree with you and say its most normal. sue, i have done it many times. for now, I'm studying to be a film director, but i fantasize on how it would be if i was a news caster. so sometimes i dress in a suit and a tie, sit facing the TV, and read alongside Catherine kasavuli and Michael njenga.i challenge myself on pronunciations, and how they do it. everything.

    i guess what i'm trying to say is role playing is just normal and cool by the way. someone should try it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. just an observation sue. in your blog you've told us many things that happen in your world. would you be willing to address the issue of different dick sizes of men who have picked you in the past?

    big? average? small? thin? thick? bending? uncircumcised? does it matter to you? do you have any preferred dick size whereby you find even if its a job, but you still enjoy? or is money the factor?

    ReplyDelete
  9. fabulous stuff!
    keep it up dear

    ReplyDelete
  10. In a peculiar way you remind me of me,i guess we have a certain connection

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is very funny.... when i want to escape i think abt me being a stripper with a mask. to cowardly though, lest i get ad- dick-ted

    ReplyDelete
  12. podcasts?! nice! We at sweetandshower like that.....aren't you afraid that someone who knows your voice might tell who you are though? oh, once again, another great post...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Officially an addict, well written, few can write can like this , even fewer can beat it.cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Visit Kenyan Nurses Abroad (KENNA) for a chance to win some cash!

    Also, connect with Kenyans practicing nursing abroad. Join us to share experiences and chart a way forward for healthcare in our country.

    ReplyDelete
  15. know why u do this, an attempt to cure life's frustratiions. @least u've a career* I have none, so occasionally i'll check into a nice joint & order a nice meal and a drink so I may feel human.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dreams don't die until we let them... Have a great week and maybe one day when I have more time, I will tell you how my departed friend, the late Anthony Dzuya built his dream into what later become Zimele Asset Management.....

    ReplyDelete
  17. I applaud your flow of thought, and the occasional 'flaws' that seem to pump your keypad with such calm recollections. Can't wait for the podcasts. And one writer to another, write that book. It'd certainly break from the norm in the way of Kenyan literary edifices. Suis fan!

    ReplyDelete
  18. sue,your blog is always a nice read.the other nairobi nights blog is so fake and sounds so white washed.you always remind me of my mum,she was a call girl for a certain mzungu diplomat.anyway,keep up with the good work.and dont keep us waiting so long!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sue, beware that you are finally letting us on into your deepest inhibitions and it will take someone that knows you well to stumble on your blog...

    ReplyDelete
  20. could u be in a state of self confusion,u dont really seem to have any meaning to your life..Do u eva think of impacting the world positively throught the education u earned at skul..dont u even have a regret for all the money and time u spent at college,only to invest it in hookers business..U r one most confused person i have eva come across...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anon above. The blog is entertaining and that counts as a positive impact on the world. Now, I'll put this as politely as I can. Please fuck off.

    Maybe you could role play for some of your clients, eh? I'm certain I'd enjoy that. Take you to a restaurant then leave you at the bar and walk out, have a swig or two of whiskey before walking back in and meeting this wonderful young executive from Y & R. We flirt and charm each other amidst laughter and the clinking of glasses before eagerly sneaking out the restaurant to a night of flammable passions and steamy pleasures. Who wouldn't say no to that?

    But don't sedate me, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  22. I know you don't read the comments anymore (I know I don't too) but it was just a thought I thought I should let out anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  23. On the contrary, I dont think you are confused.. Judging by your actions and thoughts, I can tell you that you're demon posessed. You happen too be a carrier of a host of demons (legion)whom you "wear" at different occassions. These are the ones that control your emotions and character at any given day.In case you did'nt know, your body was created to be the temple of God and if the Holy Spirit is not in YOU, then demons take over... no vacuum. My dear, No Psychiatrist can cure this condition except One Jesus Son of the Living God.I can help you on this if you so wish!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. @Anonymous above ..take your crap elsewhere..if you want to preach this is not the place..WTF are u doing here anywayz?...I hate pretentious people hiding behind the Christianity bullshit..Go Fuck A Duck!!

    Sue this is indeed a very good read..please keep writing...one of my favourite blogs for sure!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I do that everyday. It is very normal. Is it any different from building castles in the air, only this time you are so immersed in the role you quite confidently believe you are living it?

    ReplyDelete
  26. I think the range of emotions that you create, this judged from the comments so far, is a testament to your genius. I see you going very far and very fast...enjoy the ride

    ReplyDelete
  27. yep,this is some good work sons of biatches!

    ReplyDelete
  28. the way this blog has grown and your confidence
    is amazing but at this rate am dead sure someone will get to know you .....
    be ready for that time and have an exit plan

    ReplyDelete
  29. interesting really, i do the same. Every friday afternoon is my role pay day.

    i am unemplyed for a while now, i trained in development studies years ago, but inreality my dream never marterialised, i am self employed now-selling beauty products.

    my dream has always to work with a diplomatic mission ie african union,igad even UN or embassies. i dress up really well, wear a classy suite,fix my hair and polish my shoes and carry a posh lady's bag and stroll to the UNEP area, while there, since i cannot go in, i will stand outside, i will seat at the waiting area, pretending to wait for someone and looking at my watch. I then stroll past the american embassy and walk to village market, sometimes i meet working staff who join me and we start talking, i lie i call myself humanitarian affairs officer (such a post exists) and we start talking, they will talk sometimes about where they work.I will go for lunch at steers sometimes(since its cheap) but mostly on fridays is at the main food court, like my other 'diplomats' its normaly half days at for United Nations officials, so the village market is their place.

    after lunch, i will walk around village market,maybe buy some stuff at nakumatt and walk slowly to the bus stage and head home.

    for that day, i am what i wanted to be. i will be there on friday at 1 pm at the food court at village market, look out for a classy tall lady in black.

    hope you can join me sue, your really not alone dear!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Congratulations on the nomination. Last year, our blog was awarded the Best Blog in Spanish Award, and the truth, the award ceremony is an event that will always remain a happy memory in our lives.
    Congratulations for your good work and good luck !
    Greetings.
    La Vuelta al Mundo de Asun y Ricardo

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hi there,
    ....Good write up!!...But, is it me or the article's interwoven creativity&grammar seem to be improving, an article after another??? Great work though!!! big ups!!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. 'When the urge to become a product developer at Safaricom comes and I have no money I get into a state of frustration, I lose my concentration and become a little edgy'. Are you for real, this is the most hilarious thing av heard all week! Wah! You made my day. A hooker with the capacity to make men (Women) fall head over heels with an illusion, maybe you are a man and know what men want t the hilt. Great Job...

    ReplyDelete
  33. why a monthly gynaecological examination?what exactly are you looking for?

    ReplyDelete
  34. The more I've followed your blog, right from inception to now, the more I've come to the conclusion that it was all part of a 'Grand Scheme' to commercialize and break into the writing hemisphere.

    Don't get me wrong, I admire your writing skills. Tremendously. But I especially admire your business skills. Your ability to loop us-your faithful, clueless? fans as joyriders in the'Grand Scheme' to monetize this blog.

    Why am saying this? It seems to have lost it's street-wise edge, and sounds 'edited' - Maybe by some new 'powers that be'.

    Then again, with my penchant for Conspiracy Theories, I could be wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'm with Kyambo... I'm sure yu don't mind topic suggestions, I bet dick size vs performance n' pleasure derived would make for a good read

    ReplyDelete
  36. hi Sue
    whenever i read your blog,it leaves me in confused state.Though i got to know of it recently[after a review in THE NATION]can you clarify this please:do your parents know what you do for a living?
    what exactly drove you to it?have you ever met a client with an absurd request e.g one needing anal sex?a customer who never got satisfied no how many rounds?

    ReplyDelete
  37. which course did you take at college?do you still bother in finding formal employment?

    ReplyDelete
  38. The level of your grimmer/vocabulary suggests to me someone who, is not only widely read, but still reads a lot.
    This does not really jell with the idea that you walk Koinange street looking for customers, or that the majority of your work is carried out in the evening/night.
    Your blog is, however, very entertaining (not very believable), and I have just signed up to follow

    ReplyDelete
  39. I think you are a very brave person to come up with the blog, I am reading it and I like it. I think you have a real talent in writing. If you computer breaks I will fix it for free...and advise on podcast if you need.

    ReplyDelete
  40. @Anonymous @ April 23, 2011 11:53 PM

    What the hell is grimmer? And what is this fetish you have for commas?

    What primary school do YOU go to? It's gel, not jell.

    Anonymister

    ReplyDelete
  41. Erotic Kenyan photos and vids http://vitukali.com

    Mature discreet romance, fun, juicy affairs in Kenya http://www.penzilink.com

    ReplyDelete
  42. Anonymister
    May 3, 2011 1:55 PM
    he he he you have made my day, some people come here all high and mighty, feeling better than Sue because they have an 8-5 useless job, drive an ex Japan gotten off some company loan, FUCK OFF, no one drugs/drags you to log on, leave the comments to the rest of us who actually enjoy the reading, even with the typos and all..then again who has no fantasy in this world?? am sure some of you sleep in your wife's/girlfriends panties when they are not there...FUCK OFF

    ReplyDelete
  43. $$$ URGENT LOAN OFFER WITH LOW INTEREST RATE APPLY NOW $$$
    Do you need Loan to pay off your debt and start a new life? You have come to the right place were you can get your loan at a very low interest rate. Interested people/company should please contact us via email for more details.

    Full name:
    Date of birth (yyyy-mm-dd):
    Gender:
    Marital status:
    Amount Needed:
    Duration:
    Address:
    City:
    State/province:
    Zip/postal code:
    Country:
    Phone number:
    Monthly Income:
    Occupation:

    E-mail: shadiraaliuloancompany1@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  44. As you can see from her incredible picture, Briana is a drop dead gorgeous ebony with a delicious 36DD-22-36 figure on her 5’5 frame that will capture your attention from the moment you meet her.

    Along with that luscious long black hair, Briana has some intense brown eyes that sparkle like diamonds, especially when she’s laughing.

    Briana is available to both men and women for interesting dates in the Nairobi area. Check out this gorgeous escorts profile and get in touch with her directly to arrange a fabulous date the next time you’re in Nairobi.

    Escorts in Kenya
    Escorts in Mombasa
    Escorts in Nairobi
    Escorts in Kisumu
    Escorts in Thika
    Escorts in Nakuru
    Escorts in Machakos

    ReplyDelete