Episode 58: Goodbye Guilt

I bet I am starting to sound like a broken record; once more I talk of quitting.  This has nothing to do with the many emails and comments I have been receiving to the effect of late. Those I will respond to later.

 Sometime ago in a moment of personal resolution I  promised myself that if I ever stopped feeling guilty about the evil acts I commit during my work then it would be time to quit.  Of course when I talk of evil I don't mean having sex, that is good, but that other 'bad’ things beyond sex, like stealing from clients.

I have always thought myself not fully gone into the depth of sin because I still felt guilty after stealing. After all its things like guilt that separate human beings from animals. Or is it? In those relatively few times I have stolen from men, I have ended up remorseful despite my justification for the act.

My justification for stealing had always been diverse. Sometimes I made it look like a class war; you know the upright beings and us the wrongly condemned . Other times I told myself I was participating in the gender wars. What's wrong with punishing a man who is cheating and probably making his family suffer? There were also those men I felt were mean, and what I was getting was my rightful fee.  However deep down inside me I knew I was lying to myself. There was no reason for my greed as shown by my thieving ways.  In the end I just felt terrible.

Different girls have varied strategies and guts for stealing. For me depending on the conditions the best time to lift anything from a sober man is before the sex. When his reasoning is made fuzzy by exposed thighs, kinky talk and anticipation. The foreplay offers such a good opportunity to set up a heist, if stealing a wallet maybe made that grand.

Picking during sex has never been appropriate unless there is an extra girl or the man is a bit tipsy and not fully undressed. The latter was common at the SJ. Stealing from a sober man after sex is quite tricky. For in that immediate moment after sex many men seem as if they have woken up from a dream. Some become extra alert, reach for their trousers, quickly dress then leave. But a few will make just a small careless mistake.

This week a man picked me and drove to lodging in Parklands made notorious by its conducive conditions for spiking and stealing.  The client was a reserved but polite man probably in his late twenties. We had some okay sex, which by his facial expression and sounds I couldn't tell whether he had enjoyed. He paid me Ksh.2000. We dressed up and he stepped to the toilet, leaving his phone on the bed. Within seconds it
was in a compartment in my handbag, and I was out of the place.   This was the first time I had stolen a phone; A Nokia X something which fetched me  a mere Ksh.2,500 on the Street. . I felt nothing about it,
and still do. It might be time to quit or perfect my skills.





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