Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Episode 35 : Of Boredom and A Funeral


I have been in my kind business for almost three years now, during which I have slept with over a thousand different men. That figure is small as compared to some of you, men and women, who do it for pleasure, ego and money. Let’s not go to the money bit, but do take some few seconds to count the number of people you have slept with. How many? Yet you may not be called prostitutes because it is not the quantity of the sex that matters in the definition of the word, but the purpose.

Nowadays I am not ashamed to call myself a prostitute. But there was a time I was in denial. Even after walking to a dingy room at the Sabina Joy, lying on dirty tattered mattress, lowering my pants, having a drunken man mount me and pay 200 shillings for it, I still could not punch my fist in the air and say “Yes I am now a prostitute!”. Those days are now gone, they had to go if I had to make it in this trade.

Of course I remember the way I felt the first day I was explicitly paid for sex. The thrill of becoming something new. And this was not the becoming a woman pain then  joy of virginity breaking, but the science fiction metamorphosis of changing to evil in the eyes of society, losing almost all conscience and morality. There was every reason to remain in denial.

As you well know I practice on the Street. There are many other places I could opt to go to, where I won’t freeze in cold or have to play hide and seek with the police and City Council askari, but I chose the Street. The Street has its own beauty. To start with, there is the ever present tension between us and the authorities, a permanent adrenaline rush that makes getting to a comfortable zone an impossibility. A comfort zone would blind me from the fact that I can’t be in this trade forever. (Like most girls say I was to quit after six months.) The adrenaline rush, as you will see, has other purposes.

The Street is a jungle; there is no formality or systematic way of doing things. I am doing wrong and I have the freedom to go all the way in my sin. I can show as much flesh as I want, I can scream and insult. In some of the pubs I can’t even show my pants. In others I have to wait in the toilets or corridors. In the up market brothels there is structure; there is reporting to someone; there is splitting the money. I love my freedom and the risks that come with it. And I gladly pass the cost of the risk to the consumers.

The Street largely caters for a very specific market. Most men who come here are looking for something between the roughness of the downtown and decency of the up market. They don’t want the sophistication that snatches the illegality and dirt of prostitution. But still they don’t want the on the face prostitution that feels cheap and exploitative. I love this group because nothing is exactly predictable with them and they have endless possibilities. Many of them think  they have figured us out while the truth is they are far from it. The mind game between me and such is part of the motivation to do what I do

So why am I telling you things I should have told you at the start of this blog?  And some which you already know? It’s because of late I am looking back a lot. I am spending quite some time in the comfort of the good-old-days thoughts. In the last few weeks the Street has lost its thrill; the excitement and adrenaline rush that partially attracted me to it are nowhere to be found. Everything now is too predictable. The girls are good to each other. The clients, at least my clients, are too polite, they don't argue, they don't negotiate and they don’t experiment either. They have become yes-men agreeing to all I suggest. Not that johns are supposed to be monsters, but neither are they supposed to be sissies. A not so direct reward in my work, as I have mentioned, is the joy of outsmarting a man or better still subduing him. Presently everything looks too ideal. Too good to be true. It’s like a lull before a storm. I don't know what has happened. Maybe the cold has frozen the male nerves. Or the increasingly tough economic times have made men frail.

In these generally slow times I and certainly most girls seize any opportunity to get some kick. Not long ago this opportunity came in the form of death. Most girls approach death with escapism and false bravado. Thus there are many statements of the “ I'd rather die than….” kind. Or others which tend to play on fate and destiny. Hence many times I will hear the very pedestrian statement “My graph is drawn"... Although girls may give the illusion they are not afraid of death and prefer it to suffering, the truth is most of us are scared and the light manner in which most of us treat it, is so as not to face the reality of how close we are to demise every time we go with a client. Like most people I am also frightened, but rather than live in escapism I have opted to reconcile myself with the idea of death.

About a year ago I read The Book of Dead Philosophers (another relic from a client.). The text has all these anecdotes about philosophical last scenes. My favorite was the well known classic by Socrates. When he was sentenced to death he told the judges “Now it is time that we were going, I to die and you to live; but which of us has the happier prospect is unknown to anyone but God."

Then there was another man whose name I can't remember who after it became clear he was going to die of cancer said “Death orders matters well, since the very fact of your absence makes the world distinctly less worthy of being lived in"

Few weeks ago a colleague we called BG died. She was one of those average girls who don’t stand out in anyway. She disappeared from the Street for a month, and the next thing we heard she was dead.  Like it usually happens here there was speculation but nothing definite about the cause of her death. So there was talk of her being poisoned by another girl, of her being bewitched by a man he stole from, of HIV, of drugs and liver disease.

Twenty three of us planned to attend the burial.  Of course we said we were going to show our last respects but it’s the prospect of taking a trip as a group that was more exciting. It was to be like those bonding retreats corporate organizations have. Maggie who was coordinating the trip laid the ground rules. We were to all wear black jeans. When we got to the funeral we were not to act like prostitutes but rather like her ‘work’ colleagues, since we were not sure whether her family knew what she did for a living. We contributed money and hired two Nissan Matatus. The funeral was in Muranga, about 100km from Nairobi.

We left around nine in the morning. As soon as we were inside the vehicle, we opened our bags and unleashed cheap spirits and miraa. Half an hour later we were euphoric and noisy as if going for a wedding. We talked, laughed, smoked, farted and made rude and suggestive signs at other motorists. We were almost knocked out by the time we got to the funeral and as much as we tried to maintain some decorum it became impossible. We were loud, and some of us giggled when mourners were praying.

When the coffin was lowered inside the grave, we took over to throw in the soil. With the spades which were provided, singing and trying to look sober we buried BG. When the grave was fully covered we stood around it, ignoring everyone else. Then Maggie took the microphone and looked directly at the grave. She spoke in Kikuyu but said something like “Please watch over us". At that point some of us shed tears. I didn’t.

When we went back to the vehicles, which were parked some distance away, we found someone had broken in and stolen our bags which contained our strong drinks. “Whoever stole our bags is the one who killed BG" Maggie said, and we cheered. Next day it was back to the present slow of the Street.


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1.Nairobi Nights One - This has Episode 1-30 as they appear on the blog. Some selected comments are included. This book is FREE.




2. The Illustrated Nairobi Nights - This includes 20 Episodes told a graphic form. More like an advanced comic strip.Characters involved are drawn and in some cases much more information is given. There is also a tongue in cheek illustration of some of the comments. This book costs Ksh.100 (1.14$)


Click on E-books above.


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40 comments:

  1. There is total superimpostion of your ideals in your blog that makes it addictive.... I am no moral judge and am very liberal about life... I read this blog regurlaly n we were discussin with a friend, your biological clock is headin towards the west tickin ready to set... What next...? Will it be the end of your blogging career....

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  2. I don know how u do it or what u have but u just keep pulling me back to this. Been waiting for episode 35 for long and now i await episode 36. Don know whether ur for real or not but whether or not, thea'z just smting in u

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  3. ha ha hilaarious good english command i should star reading big books too??!!

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  4. Pwahahahahaha!!

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  5. Maybe you should title your book "a girl's philosophy through prostitution"...you are actually struggling to unravel a philosophy in a very sublime way, this blog is like a chic hatching from an egg, there is some catharsis in it too, their is struggle, a metamorphosis maybe, and its beautiful outcome is on the way....you will get there, somewhere nice. it'll be fun to say you found yourself through prostitution one day. keep it up(wet) sue

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  6. U're becoming boring, must u remind us of things u've already said? Playing roung with alot of words and still u dont bring out anything juicy. We know u started at sj n u need not remind us in every post....... C'mon stay juicy the way u were pliz.'ve already said? Playing roung with alot of words and still u dont bring out anything juicy. We know u started at sj n u need not remind us in every post....... C'mon stay juicy the way u were pliz.

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  7. @Anonymous above: You have lost the thrill of reading, totally unable to see much deeper into the actual character more than the material you "expect" the author to provide... I would have sworn a "slight disclaimer" to the repetition..."

    So why am I telling you things I should have told you at the start of this blog? And some which you already know? It’s because of late I am looking back a lot. I am spending quite some time in the comfort of the good-old-days thoughts."

    All the same, its maybe cause i've been to a similar funeral and hence i can actually visualize it better.

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  8. @ Anonymous actually its posts like this which make me believe in this blog. Here is a human beings with genuine ups and downs. I would be highly doubtful if this blog was a thriller. Why does she repeat? Well she admits and explains. That kind of arrogance me keep reading. Personally I read this blog more for the philosophy and intellectual kick rather than for the action. Like someone advised in your posts don't be tempted to write to please the audience.Write what you feel and don't try not to be boring.

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  9. Totally agree, if you want action read erotica. This blog is a tale of a person taking us through their hopes and fears in a very vivid and succint manner. Keep up the good work sue.

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  10. Hey Sue!!An awsome read...but am kind of wondering why you were not moved to tears like the rest as you paid your last respects to BG?...anyways GREAT PIECE as always...btw hoping the Big Daddy upstairs watches your back so that you don't die too soon as poor BG...you are still His beloved daughter ....take care :)!

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  11. Get Rich Or Die TryinJuly 6, 2011 at 4:04 AM

    Hey Girl, I really enjoy ur blogs

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  12. Get Rich or Die TryinJuly 6, 2011 at 4:23 AM

    I remember how bad I had it when I was living in Kenya thank God a met a white guy and brought me to America! I never got into prostitution though but I have fucked enough men in my journey to escape poverty which dont make me any better than you...ha ha ha. All of us women fuck around and I cant stand judgemental people. I hope u find ur way out of the streets girl coz Id hate all ur talent and hardwork cut short like BG! Lots of love!

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  13. wat apend 2 da story of da lady client??am stl waitn 4 t!wat apend 2 da story of da lady client??am stl waitn 4 t!

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  14. Sue... Ever since a buddy recommended your blog, I've been hooked. Your writings make inspirational reads. I constantly check for updated feeds. Write from your heart and take care...
    P.S Have you helped a man break his whoreginity?

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  15. farcerca, Spain.July 6, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    The seventh paragraph is loaded with food for thought. Your nostalgia for things as recent as three years ago. The "predictable" politeness and passivity of your workmates and clients, like carefully programmed robots. Economic fragility seen as emasculating threat, rather than challenging provoker of adrenaline. The usually pleasant temperatures of Nairobi seen as male nerve-freezing.Now the "slow" of today and the street.

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  16. Sue, this is great! I guess many times real happiness comes from being with friends, cooperating on some 'mission' doing stuff together: these are the moments whose memories make life worth living. This is a great post Sue, its just beautiful. However being so detailed puts your anonymity at risk...and I think it is important for many of us who follow this blog. Sue remaining anonymous/unknown for many of us is vital, if anything for the preservation of the sweet curious mystical magic surrounding your person. Dont f**k it up!

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  17. Real niggaz do real things

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  18. Loved it! R.I.P BG.
    The guy who said "Death orders matters well, since the very fact of your absence makes the world distinctly less worthy of being lived in" was Jean Baudrillard in his Last Book Cool Memories V.

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  19. This was an excellent episode.

    Deeper than I expected.

    This blog isn't about sex, porn, or even prostitution.

    This blog is about life.

    Anonymister

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  20. enjoyed your read.
    Had a similar experience with my old collegue mates sending off one of our own - everything except our cars getting broken into.

    R.I.P BG.

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  21. Amazing.........

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  22. Been reading your posts from the very first to this one, like wine your writing has matured with 'age'.

    You picked with the "The Man in a Jalopy": you rock as a writer, philospher and a social critic.

    Am a blogger too, and appreciate the input of this blogger away from mainstream media.

    Keep it up (as a writer i mean)

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  23. The blog is really wet, thumbs up! Just wondering do brains and beauty go hand in hand?

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  24. new blog http://dramaqueendating.blogspot.com/ she can write.

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  25. after fucking 1000 men and counting is your pussy elasticity still tight i wonder i wonder, perhaps you should consider virginal rejuvenation. can i sponsor then fuck you like crazy but i wont pay since i sponsored you.ama!!!...........

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  26. As a man, am supposed to act like I've never been with a prostitute, pointing fingers at those who pick up girls but I can't do that. I love women too much and when I cannot be with a special one, I do like the company of an affordable beautiful damsel every once in a while.

    Anyway, never took the time to let you know that the blog is awesome and yes I like your defination of freedom.

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  27. Hi Sue, I thoroughly reading your blog.

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  28. http://www.youtube.com/user/videovigilanteokc

    Maybe a vlog is in order?

    ReplyDelete
  29. Mbesha02@yahoo.comJuly 13, 2011 at 5:00 PM

    A sue-less week is a useless weekA sue-less week is a useless week

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  30. sue write soon please dear

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  31. I have finally finished reading all of her blog posts and I guess I now have to resign myself to waiting for more like all the others, great blog overall Sue, every post has it's own special allure. I am looking forward to reading more and I also plan on buying that E-book.
    Much love and stay safe. . .x

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  32. Tushauriane_online@yahoo.comJuly 15, 2011 at 9:47 PM

    Hey sue i was once in a mat @ the unmetionable hrs, u knw after 1 or 2 for the road! ;-) these two ladies were discussing how they would help the son of fellow deceased street lady who operated from simmers. N just like u pointed out they each had their version as to the cause of her death. Needles to say one version consisted of a JOHN doing her in.

    The sad thing was the helpless tone in their voices, and the pain they were obviously feeling for the poor son to the deaseased.

    I get it, it dangerous..r 2 for the road! ;-) these two ladies were discussing how they would help the son of fellow deceased street lady who operated from simmers. N just like u pointed out they each had their version as to the cause of her death. Needles to say one version consisted of a JOHN doing her in.

    The sad thing was the helpless tone in their voices, and the pain they were obviously feeling for the poor son to the deaseased.

    I get it, it dangerous..

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  33. Most ladies I know, and I know many can count their lovers on one hand, and most are embarrased to go above five. It's fine if you think that sleeping with 1000 men is okay but what is not okay is seeking company by trying to group women in one category and calling them hypocrites for not admitting. I know misery loves company but sorry to be the bearer of bad news women don't all sleep around like that. They are not prostitutes because they do not get paid for sex, but that reason "not being paid" makes them not give their bodies freely to men. The reason why is not important, what is important is they did not sleep around. Dear
    Sue, you are an intelligent woman who would have contributed to this world but you chose an easy but dangerous and worthless path for yourself. Most of your fans are men and men as you know will take anything and everything that is about sex. I wish you luck,however that translates into the life you have chosen for yourself.

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