Monday, February 21, 2011

Episode 15: Things I Carry In My Handbag

The last few days I had been, anonymously, attending a workshop where all the women participants had this urban, suave and sophisticated talk as if they were all living the good times. Something about the way they carried themselves didn't look real or perhaps because I haven't socialized with their kind for long I felt that way.

Anyway on the first day of the workshop in what I took to be an ice breaking exercise the facilitator asked; " What is it you carry in your handbag and can't leave home without?" The women looked like they were trying to out do each other and the answers included credit cards, sunscreens, a photo of my family, organizer, gym card, yoga book, perfume, motivational book and such. When it came to my turn I hesitated a little, then in the spirit of the workshop which was sort of to strategize against men I said " My pepper spray. I dress in what makes me comfortable, but makes some men uncomfortable". I lied. I don't carry pepper spray, but then in the circumstances I couldn't mention the actual things that I always have in my handbag, unless I wanted to be thrown out.

I love medium size clutch bags. When I have to carry clothes to work, then I use a larger bag, which after changing I leave with some watchman or other of the street gatekeepers, but I never put  my clutch bag down.  So here are the must have items in my small bag:

1. Pen Knife 

Its actually a cheap but very sharp blade which I can open with a single flick. Sure its a weapon, and I feel much better when I have it. I have never used the blade but since I never know in whose car I hop into , it does no harm to have  some defense tool stand by. If my instincts send alarm signals, I will  have my bag with me until we embark on the sex, and then it will  be within reach. I can only use the blade in the extreme of circumstances. A man not paying me is not extreme. A man verbally abusing me is not extreme. A man hitting twice me is extreme. Can I kill? I would hesitate before committing murder, but if thats the only option to save my life then I would do it without guilt.

2. Lubricant

As someone correctly pointed out there are many times when a client doesn't arouse me, hence make me wet. It doesn't matter the foreplay. And quite a number of men are hesitant to lick a prostitute down there. So I have the gel to ease the friction. But its not something I will apply in the presence of the client. That is unprofessional ; enough to turn off some men, though it might  stimulate others. If I need to use the lubricant I will , at the opportune time , excuse myself , pop into the toilet and come back 'wet'. But of course once in a while, I will meet a man who I 'feel' and who in turn makes me wet. Also, high risks, like the police station incident I mentioned in one of the episodes, excite me to the extent of making it unnecessary to use the lubricant.  When I used to work at SJ I never used lubricant, instead I just applied saliva. Even though using a lubricant would have been  for my own good, I didn't feel the men downtown were worth investing in KY.

3. Condoms

Yes, I carry a pack of Rough Rider condoms. You see there are men who will want to have unprotected sex on the pretense of having forgotten to buy condoms. But viola I always have a pack ready. Others will have genuinely forgotten to buy some, and will only remember when my clothes are on the floor. At such times the emancipation to go raw is at the highest, but then too bad or too good, I have pack ready. Then of course there are men who buy or get for free, cheap, thick , low quality condoms which feel so uncomfortable inside me. Its always a pleasure to introduce them to the world of premium, ultra thin condoms. This reminds me how at the SJ  some girls  used to insist on their clients  wearing  two of those free government condoms. Double protection at half the pleasure. Huh Pleasure is inversely proportional to Protection.


The spiking agent, the mchele, that can black a man out giving me the opportunity to unload everything from his pockets or some valuables from his house.  I have it both in powder and gum form. As impossible as it may be there are men who will actually believe  that chewing a gum given by a prostitute will make them last forever.  I don't intend to steal from men, but the drugs add to my feeling of security, knowing if need be, I can knock off a man for hours easily. And then again as Cheupe, she of urinating in the city council van, told me in my first week on the streets "With men you never know when opportunity may strike" and "Whether you steal or not, everybody thinks you are a thief". I have to admit in my two years or so of practice on the street I have spiked only once, the victim being a drunk diplomat. That's another of the stories I am going to write about soon.

5. Book

I always have a light book in my handbag. At the moment I have Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, a small book which I bought for Ksh. 70 on the streets.  I am yet to start reading it. Before that I was carrying Tale of Kasaya by Eva Kasaya, and released by Kwani or some other Kenyan publisher. I picked the book from a client's house with his permission. Its a true, interesting story of adventures of a former house girl until she got 'emancipated'. Its a story I loved, and though I can not exactly relate with it, I know many of my colleagues can. There were times I used to have James Hadley Chase paper backs in the bag, Reading them a second tome after high school. Almost all had a prostitute or some prostitute kind of girl featured in  the story.  My favourite being ' But Just A Short Time To Live". I read on my way to work . Sometimes when bored at home I go to town early, and kill time reading at the Jeevanjee gardens or the seats outside Steers . I read the bigger, involving and more abstract books at home.

6.Lesso and extra pant

If I leave home with my uniform, then I will make sure I have a pant and lesso,  or kikoy tucked somewhere in the clutch bag. What would happen if I am busted by a client's wife or girlfriend when stark naked in action? Whatever would happen, including leaving my clothes behind, I wouldn't leave my handbag. At least then I will have something to cover my nakedness.

The other items are what every girl has; some Vaseline, perfume, lip bum, tissue, wipes and the rest. I also carry a lighter, cigarettes, my ID, 'job' and business cards.


  1. A workshop to sort of strategize against men? hmmm... tell us more... as for sedatives, being a victim of dormicum once all i can say is 60mg was a bit on the higher side unless she was out to kill me; one tablet was more than enough. pass on the word :-)

  2. alot of the things u have in ur bag... i have in mine and aint no lady of the streets.... jus goes out to show that all women are the same no matter what.. the only difference between you and them is that u openly admit that you have these items. am sure at that workshop if you would all have been told to pour the contents of your bags..... tha only thing that would be different is probably the brand names...

  3. What, no ipod to listen to while client huffs away???!

  4. job id n business cards hebu explain that or post a smple on fb wall of cos hiddin the vital info.

  5. foreplay how now,i thought all guys would do is get it up and stick it in kwisha maneno,keep the stories coming especially for the diplomat

  6. i thought ud have some music too.very interesting this blog. still getting convinced that its authentic

  7. Suprised at the foreplay and your comment about some clients going down there, from what i have heard,BY THE TIME U GO to bed, its penetration, there are no details of kissing n licking

  8. Shouldn't the sedative be for the downtown hookers,now u making thin twice about pickng up a girl from K st,if we can afford to drive we r gonna pay u good,sedate us,steal from us u ruining business n that's the last u'll see of my A4 on K st

  9. im still making faces about that sh*t of lubricant and sedatives. we are still waiting for that storo of the diplomat. Tell us more about Cheupe., she seems to be quite an interesting one.

  10. Hi?You do have a nice way of passing through your messages to us....I kind of relate to them too since i'm like a porn addict(yeah..sad but we too exist in kenya)....and i've been to many Brothels in and around town...Nice day.

  11. what idiot licks a ho...hpv,herpes,hepatitis,chlamydia and in some cases Hiv...and other dudes semen!!
    but hio mambo ya mchele shows you're a crook.

  12. that story of going down a hoe is a lie, unless the guy is on coke, seriosly sue be believable.

  13. "urban, suave and sophisticated talk as if they were all living the good times. Something about the way they carried themselves didn't look real"

    when the roads diverge and each pseudo woman goes home.... thats the part that should be most interesting..... the point of finally running into onself...

    kudos sue, if u published a book, i would buy it... and perhaps read it at jeevanjee gardens,hell i might even pose as sue LOL

  14. Honey, its Lip balm

  15. Lubricant. from now on am visiting Kstreet, no more backstreet, that saliva thing is quite turn off, I once lost my boner, and still had to pay.

  16. "When I used to work at SJ I never used lubricant, instead I just applied saliva. Even though using a lubricant would have been for my own good, I didn't feel the men downtown were worth investing in KY."

    Hehehehehe!! Spot on!!

  17. uve got alot of free time between ur night escapades and reading books in jeevenjee!

  18. tushauriane_online@yahoo.comFebruary 24, 2011 at 8:30 AM

    You said at one point that people see a whore and equate them to a thief, your "sedative" just proves that they were right, whores are thieves.
    The men may be beasts but a maojority are out to get the best value for their chums, your kind on the other hand sell substandard and reconditioned goods and pass them off as "new merchandise". Men ussually pay for the value of the service they percieve to have gotten or recieved from you - granted, the valuation is somewhat onesided, but still it is the perception that counts as you had pointed out earlier.

    My point being when a man still from a whore or shortchanges her, it is a deal gone bad for one party.But when you arm yourselves with sedative you are the lowest of the earth's scum feeding off the naive and wellmeaning clients.

    I have heard really nasty stories about what your sedaties have done to innocent Nairobians.......

  19. Sedatives!!! I really hate that. A neighbor of mine picked up a chic from K2 only to wake up 48hrs later locked up in his own house..They carried Clothes, Phones, Home Theatre..really and every portable stuff..I still wonder how they bebad em stuff..Fuck Whores!!!!!

  20. great stuff as always sue. i love how you play around with English. like one follower said,if you wrote a book, i would as hell buy it and sit my ass down at the jevanjee gardens as i read it. continue bringing more stuff onto us sue. then what happened? about that fight? thats why you dissapeared for almost week? gosh! we missed you. and just wondering how you write to us. is it once a week? twice a week? or daily?

  21. Sedatives..... u almost killed me..I hate u sue if u carry those things..

  22. all the stuff you carry in your bag are kinda acceptable but mchele? unless you justify by saying you only drug for your safety, i know the men can be beasts at times. all the same, keep it coming, we are glued to this page.

  23. I am still wondering whether this sue just exist on this blog. How could a well educated woman like yourself end up been a whore? and this whore roams in dodgy places like sabina? why not target casablanca? westlands clubs,lavington,hurlingam,langata road, gigiri, village market and other up market places?

    i have seen your type there, but these are low class whores from majengo who come to up market places. what you are doing is the opposite.

    Have you put your add on or friend finder? are you scared that someone you went to school with might recognise you. I recently log to and saw a number of kenyan girls advertising themselves for sex

    The only reason I could think of is that it could be that you probably grew up in a good neighbourhood and prefer to go downtown where no one will recognise you. you could be a porn star instead and make videos and get paid alot for it? think about it

  24. the comments above makes sense to me, you could even hook up with a white dude in those up market places- tis better than been on the streets for sure.

  25. The spiking agent, the mchele, that can black a man out giving me the opportunity to unload everything from his pockets or some valuables from his house. I have it both in powder and gum form.

    I have just put a big fat x on Koinange.
    Are you serious?

  26. But then again who am I kidding? I could just as easily be spiked by any girl anywhere. Strange how we still take so many things for granted even when we try our best not to. Bah, evolution gave us a raw deal.


  28. SUE HAVE A LOOK AT THIs:,9171,2050027-1,00.html

  29. Sue, am jus wondering, supposing a situation arose where u needed 2 use ua penknife, wud u chop his balls off? Lol. Jus wondering.

  30. u are great, thought i dont think you are a whore.

  31. Sadatives..... my GOD.

    Curse to any man that goes to pick a malaya from the road side and take her to his house! the best thing to do is pick her up , use her and kick her out of your car. no more. These kind will leave you with nothing. Personally i have never used the services of a malaya, the thought scared me, if my girlfriend is not around i prefer porn (asian) definately.those chics are hot.

  32. Sedatives !!!!!!! seriously, there is no way you might need them if you are for real and genuinely in for the business and nothing else. honestly why would you need to sedate your client, if it is not for the wrong motives, which would be to still from him, coz if you have the time to do that he would either be out of control of his faculties, for the pen knife I understand but sedative I refuse to understand, SUE that you have just made me not you fan anymore

  33. Reasons why women become prostitutes: if you asked your self this question like i did many times:

    At the first the problem seems fairly easy. However, the more thought you give it, the more complicated it becomes. So, what exactly motivates girls to choose the life of a prostitute?

    Obviously I am not a girl. Neither am I a prostitute. Despite that fact I started to think about this and found out that it is an intricate question. At the first the problem seems fairly easy. However, the more thought you give it, the more complicated it becomes. So, what exactly motivates girls to choose the life of a prostitute?

    Of course, I don’t know the exact reason. That is up to each individual who sells her own body. However, there are few ideas that came to my mind.

    Love for sex

    Surely, love for sex is one possibility that may attract a girl to this job. It may seem like an idiotic idea at the first glance, but it isn’t. Some girls just love sex and they don’t care that much with whom they have it. All they care about is that this person is at least a bit attractive and does not smell like toilet. Then, why should they do it for free?

    Though, this is not originally my own idea. I actually saw a documentary where they were interviewing some prostitutes and one of them said that she started because she loved sex.

    Read more in Issues

    Some girls just love money and they are willing to do almost anything to get them. Selling their own bodies, especially if they are pretty, may seem like a great idea to them. The prettier ones may even become top-class prostitutes. Rich men will then hire them. Serving these men is usually far less risky than job of regular “street” prostitute.


    Others are in desperate need for money. Maybe their families are in state of poverty and they want to help them or they have a child and need money to take care of him/her. It does not really matter. Whatever the reason that forces someone (who does not like the idea of doing it) into this profession is surely is very pressing and uncomfortable.

    Other people

    I know that this is not motivation in the traditional sense of that word. But sadly, many girls become a victim of heartless crooks. These people will kidnap them and force them into becoming prostitutes. This is very sad and those girls/women should receive our sympathy and help rather than ridicule as the only reason why they do it is fear for their lives or lives of their relatives.

    Laziness/stupidity or are they just clever?

    I think that some girls chose this path just because they are too lazy to look for another way of earning money. “Why should I bother, if I have a great body?” they may think and start with the oldest profession.

    This stance might also be considered as stupidity. Though, at the same time, it might seem like a clever thing to do. For me the difference dwells in whether the girl decides to become “luxurious” prostitute or just stand on the street and go with everyone willing to pay. The second type is purely stupid in my eyes and there are many great risks connected to it (sexually transmitted diseases, risk of getting killed, raped and not getting paid …).

    To conclude, there may be many reasons that will motivate girls to become prostitutes. Some of them may do it out of love for sex and money. Others are pressed into choosing this profession by poverty or fell victim to criminals. Sadly, there also seems to be many girls that don’t bother finding another job, they just start selling the goods they were born with. Of course, there may be more reasons and they may differ from individual to individual. But, in my opinion, these reasons are the most frequented ones. So, does “What motivates girls to become prostitutes?” still seem like an easy and clear question to you?

    my advice: dont end up like motorcycle irene

    Read more:

  34. He he.....everyone knows that hoes and mchele are synonymous. All hoes carry that shit...yep, even the one you chipsed last night. The difference is the frequency of using it....possibly defined by the perceived gain if they knock you out. So...take a hoe to your house and you compound the reason for them to knock you out, unless you have only a bed and a stove. Count yourself lucky? No?

  35. Enyewe sedatives, that's why I always say never get wasted around some chic you just met. Always a recipe for trouble.

  36. sue wanted to know between caucasians and africans who has the biggest dick?

  37. I guess if we all treated them with respect appreciation n a little love they won't carry th sedative n knife in th first place. take her to your place after doin it make her coffee or offer a drink. pay her right dues plus a small tip for fare say thank you. she probably will hug or kiss you goodnight and u'll have one more friend.___love your blog sue. please stay safe

  38. Any one can lick twats stinking pussy? Yes, cheap imitation of rough rider CDs, you said KY Jelly- well harlots loves their money so much to invest in the jelly.

  39. Lol do you offer head?

  40. I do have a feeling Sue is an educated person who knows what she wants. She might be a prostitute today, but she's certainly too well educated to stay in the business. My feeling is she's not going to last on the receiving end. Soonest, all this will blow away...and she'll do better writing about past experiences. Just tots

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