Monday, January 3, 2011

Episode 6: Just Call Me Malaya

There have been discussions about the politically correct way to refer to prostitutes. And the suggestions have ranged from the hilarious dealers in horizontal refreshments to the obvious commercial sex workers. The truth is however we don’t give quite a damn about how we are referred. I mean it would be escapism if we are referred by some rosy names; we still do the same thing, and the names don’t increase our value. We actually refer to ourselves and to each other as malaya; a name perhaps more crude than prostitute. But we are not the only malaya, very many men in their twenties and thirties refer to their girlfriends as malaya. A man saying "wacha nikaone malaya wangu" won’t be meaning he is going to see a prostitute but rather her girlfriend. The underlying logic is that all women in a way or another are prostitutes. Very few, if any, women would say with a straight face that they never had sex even once with the money or security component at the back of their minds. We the so called prostitutes are the brave ones to come out in the open and stop beating about the bush; we are in it for the money, the pleasure is secondary.

Talking of names, none of us or rather few of us prostitutes use their real names when introducing ourselves to our clients. Its not really about protecting our identities for if we have the guts to parade on the streets then it means we have little worry about our identities. The trick is to use the name as a selling point. Let’s face it; the truth is that there are names which sound sexier than others could be such a turn off. Due to all the influences around us men have come to associate certain names with some people. Thus if I call myself Beyonce, the man will for a flash think of Beyonce Knowles. Same with a once popular name among the girls here: Naomi...yeah Naomi Campbell. But then you have to be clever in these things; Most men know we use fake names but why make it so obvious?  For instance why call yourself Paris, you know Paris Hilton, while Paris is such an odd name here.


The days of Shiko, Shiro, Maggie and Rosie are gone. The trend nowadays is to sound exotic, unique and well to have a name that feels edible. Exotic is not necessarily in the context of the country but Nairobi, where most  prostitutes are assumed  to come from particular regions. Cheupe for instance has a coastal ring to it, though she comes from somewhere in Central province. And there are all those stories about chakacha, flexibility, sex lessons from the coast. The common name in this category used to be Amina and Mariam but they are now out after they were over used by those who couldn’t even twist their waists. Nowadays French and Amharic names are common. So are unprintable Baganda names. Then there are the “innovative" words given to almost all female children born these days; Furaha, Amani, Pendo, Mimi, Nini, Tamu. Names which signify nothing in real sense, but hint at freshness.

As for me I change names as need be. Many men want to sample women other than those of their tribes. So the first thing is if I am able to guess the tribe of the man from his accent or physical look then I give a name which is from a different and not closely related tribe. The more  rare or smaller the tribe the more excited the men are. If it’s a white man I will give some 'real' African name. My favorites are Naliaka and Pendo. I still love Claire and Marilyn. My default name among the girls is Sue, which you too know. Never mind about my real name.

25 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Now that I think about it, I've never fucked a Maasai, a Samburu nor any woman from those spear-welding tribes. I'd feel a thrill if I thought the 'malaya' was one

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've met a few 'Mariahs'
    The next girl to call herself 'Mariah' gets to be instantly overlooked.
    I feel like a stalker now. 6 consecutive comments?

    By the way Sue, I take this episode as a licence to in future endearingly refer to you as Malaya .

    ReplyDelete
  4. he he he Eazy, I always look forward to your comments..

    ReplyDelete
  5. interestin read, Tamasha could do quite well....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good read malaya. nice work.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks Dy. I have a strange question. Feel free to ignore it by the way... but... are you by whatever chance the friend Sue says implored her to write a blog?

    ReplyDelete
  8. ha ha! i have got to admit your blog really tickles me up, i read it for entertainment as i have no respect, like or any virtuous feelings towards your kind; no matter what you say or try to convince yourself and your fellow miscreants. even if your profession is legalized no one will respect you, hey it is the oldest profession in the world yet you guys still operate under the cover of darkness, or would die before letting people know what you really do.. a few things; don't be deluded to think that cos you sell your punani every women "at some point" has coz of security or money, that's your job which you seem very well acquainted with . as you said malaya ni malaya. 2. no, you do not have guts, try parading your asses in broad daylight where you could be spotted by people you know, that's when we will know you don't care much about people finding your true identities.i mean you can not really know a prostitute during the day! 3. again, your grammar kinda sucks, a male is a 'him' not 'her'.

    ReplyDelete
  9. as always sue i love your blog and your writing. its A-list, self righteous assholes like ICON,who are the greatest mental prostitutes of the century. may be you are so bitter because whenever you close that bedroom door of yours and read sue's articles they turn you on and you masturbate on your hands coz no woman would ever lay a man with a smelly attitude like yours. or may be you know the bitter truth! you know at the end of the day, you will have to go to sue and gals and pay them for services! whichever way it is, i'm sorry for you man. you have no business following this blog with such an attitude like yours.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "even if your profession is legalized no one will respect you"
    I respect her. I am someone.

    "your grammar kinda sucks, a male is a 'him' not 'her'. "
    Ahh, irony, don't we love it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. my conclusion about "Sue"

    A."Sue" is a man

    B."Sue" is a writer/journalist

    C."Sue" posts comments here regularly.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Who gives a shit! Sue is entertaining. Love it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I think I know Sue & Co and what they go thru' because I work with an NGO which has a MARPS program and am getting an insight or two....

    ReplyDelete
  14. Easy, go play in traffic or something...try writing your own blog without typos...
    Interesting Sue, always is...c u in episode 7...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Icon that stone u just cast weighs heavily on u than her. i totally respect her. trust me after reading i meet her on a professional ground i'd be..___can i help u miss or ma'am.___u know why? she's conquered her worst fear-self-something that your stupid self ego and eccentric male chauvinism shall drag u down

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sue could be entertaining. All teenagers and under sexed people thinks craps on sex are hilarious.

    bottomline: twats nerves are almost dead. There is no difference between laying some dead body and laying a kinky dot-like locs of unshaved slut cunt.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Muzungu: next time you see one of us.. try talking in an American/British accent. Even if it is fake.. it may get our attention just enough to want to inquire more. A "heeeey" or "hiiiii... whats up!?"

    ReplyDelete
  18. good stuff. was introduced to this na i have started from epd 1

    ReplyDelete
  19. Erotic Kenyan photos and vids http://vitukali.com

    Mature discreet romance, fun, juicy affairs in Kenya http://www.penzilink.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. Interesting. Some guy i know refers to his daughter as Malaya and his son as Mwizi. LOL, TRUE STORY

    ReplyDelete
  21. hv bn wid 2 of malayas bt at every point i cnt gt johnny up en runnin 4 lng. .he goes down again en i dnt gt 2 perform ma magic. .wats wrng

    ReplyDelete
  22. How about the classic wench

    ReplyDelete
  23. WE'RE HIRING NEW LIVE CAM MODELS!
    GENERATE UP TO $10,000 EVERY WEEK.
    REGISTER AS A BONGA MODELS CAM MODEL TODAY!

    ReplyDelete
  24. As you can see from her incredible picture, Briana is a drop dead gorgeous ebony with a delicious 36DD-22-36 figure on her 5’5 frame that will capture your attention from the moment you meet her.

    Along with that luscious long black hair, Briana has some intense brown eyes that sparkle like diamonds, especially when she’s laughing.

    Briana is available to both men and women for interesting dates in the Nairobi area. Check out this gorgeous escorts profile and get in touch with her directly to arrange a fabulous date the next time you’re in Nairobi.

    Escorts in Kenya
    Escorts in Mombasa
    Escorts in Nairobi
    Escorts in Kisumu
    Escorts in Thika
    Escorts in Nakuru
    Escorts in Machakos

    ReplyDelete